View Full Post There’s probably an entire industry in the Marvel universe dedicated to cleaning up Spider-Man’s left behind webbing from buildings as he swings around the city.2 years ago2 years ago
View Full Post We used to write on scrolls. Then we moved on to books… Now we’re back scrolling again2 years ago2 years ago
View Full Post The anti-vacation. Go somewhere really shitty and do something awful for a week so when you return, your life seems really good.2 years ago2 years ago
View Full Post If you order a vanilla latte with almond milk, you’re drinking three bean soup2 years ago2 years ago
View Full Post A 1.5 year old can eat a banana the size of its own arm, but an adult can’t2 years ago2 years ago
View Full Post People who mix two colors of sand at their wedding ceremony to show that they can never be separated, are really saying they can actually be separated, but it’s going to be pain in the ass and require a microscope.2 years ago2 years ago
View Full Post We would probably see a sharp decline in violent crime if police were trained to aim for the crotch.2 years ago2 years ago
View Full Post You’re paying to see a movie in a cinema and still get ads before it starts.2 years ago2 years ago
View Full Post As people get older, dick and titty pics start to look more and more similar.2 years ago2 years ago
View Full Post You can get burned from the cold but you cannot get frozen from heat.2 years ago2 years ago
View Full Post Tell someone you like a glass of wine in the tub: they think you’re practicing self-care. Tell someone you like a beer in the shower: they think you’re an alcoholic.2 years ago2 years ago
View Full Post Every word sounds at least a little bit cooler with the word quantum before it2 years ago2 years ago
View Full Post Shitting your pants is an immediate problem and an immediate solution.2 years ago2 years ago
View Full Post Kind people are often kind because they know firsthand that life isn’t2 years ago2 years ago
