You know you’re an adult when you care more about your parents’ health than they do.
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Life
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During a nuclear explosion, there is a certain distance of the radius where all the frozen supermarket pizzas are cooked to perfection.
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Yoga is single player twister.
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Dracula has his hair slicked back because that’s the easiest hairstyle to do without a reflection in the mirror.
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The promise of heaven was the greatest piece of propaganda ever created
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The flavor of Dr. Pepper, animal crackers, and Swedish Fish are near impossible to describe, but they taste like the color they consist of.
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As a loner, it’s not about not having friends. It’s a lack of quality people.
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Being able to do well in high school without having to put in much effort is actually a big disadvantage later in life.
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Whoever created the tradition of not seeing the bride in the wedding dress beforehand saved countless husbands everywhere from hours of dress shopping and will forever be a hero to all men.
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The better a dating app is, the faster you’re supposed to delete it
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