Life
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If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.
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Dads tell cheesy jokes not because humour gets worse with age, but because the more life experience you have, the more value you place on anything that might make someone laugh, even if it’s at your own expense.
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When filling up on gas, men are probably more likely to shake the gas nozzle before putting it back than women are.
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You aren’t paid according to how hard you work, you are paid according to how hard you are to replace
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Drinking cow’s milk is okay, but drinking a woman’s breast milk is weird. Sucking a woman’s breast is okay, but sucking a cow’s udder is weird.
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You know you’re an adult when you care more about your parents’ health than they do.
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During a nuclear explosion, there is a certain distance of the radius where all the frozen supermarket pizzas are cooked to perfection.
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Yoga is single player twister.
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Dracula has his hair slicked back because that’s the easiest hairstyle to do without a reflection in the mirror.
