Sweatpants were made for physical activity, but wearing them in public makes you seem lazy

1.5k377

5 months ago5 months ago

ULPT: Finally get a new job to replace the horrible one you work at, and want to cause as much internal turmoil as possible when you leave? Tell everyone you make 30-40% more than you do on your way out.

1.7k490

3 months ago3 months ago

Sex workers are not out there selling their body, they are more like renting it

1.6k366

12 months ago12 months ago

Your belly has always been full enough to never have a thought about eating your pet.

2.6k372

2 years ago2 years ago

Wow Thoughts - Shower Thoughts - Page 78 of 106 - Daily Shower Thoughts

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Somewhere in the world there is one penguin who is the most gnarly, hardcore, badass penguin living by penguin standards and to us it just looks like another chubby little bird.
2 years ago2 years ago

464
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When you’ve been sad for too long that you actually start to get uncomfortable if you feel happiness for a little moment.
2 years ago2 years ago

408
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Balding is not in the body positivity movement, but gaining weight is. However, one of those things is often times more controllable while the other happens whether you like it or not.
2 years ago2 years ago

471
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if society collapsed, amazon warehouses will be fought over fiercely for being giant real-life lootboxes
2 years ago2 years ago

391
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When you die, your possessions lose their sentimental value.
2 years ago2 years ago

347
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Finger whistling must’ve really lost popularity in the past couple of years
2 years ago2 years ago

364
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Someone needs to invent a fucking artifical gut microbe that breaks down everything that enters the stomach into the most healthy output possible from its genetic composition! You could live off chocolate or dirt!
2 years ago2 years ago

500
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Sure there’s post nut clarity, but there also post post nut clarity where you realize you’ll be back into it tomorrow.
2 years ago2 years ago

409
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It sucks that one mistake can undo all the good that you’ve ever done, but that one good thing cannot undo the mistake you’ve done.
2 years ago2 years ago

418
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People under the age of 35 probably have never experienced going through the airport with no wheels on their luggage.
2 years ago2 years ago

404
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Because telescopes work using mirrors, we won’t know if there are any space vampires until it is far too late.
2 years ago2 years ago

397
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If you were bulletproof, you would probably live your entire life without knowing.
2 years ago2 years ago

369
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The international space station takes the smartest people on the planet and turns them into maintenance workers
2 years ago2 years ago

398
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The mechanism in your brain that communicates with your sphincter so you don’t shit your pants is the real MVP of your body.
2 years ago2 years ago

413
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You know you’re an adult when you care more about your parents’ health than they do.
2 years ago2 years ago

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