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Having children is a long running family tradition.

Cigarettes are a type of veggie wrap.

You aren’t that important, because no one has come from the future to assassinate you.

Even if we would have gotten a letter from Hogwarts, our parents would have never believed it was real and let us travel to London to run against a wall. We never had a chance.

Our brains are hard-wired for survival, yet they have no issue with letting us daydream while driving a multi-ton death machine

Those of us born in the early 90s will one day be the last people alive who remember life before the internet

People draw dicks everywhere because vaginas are much harder to accurately depict.

When you turn 113 years old, you become a teenager again

The second person in a conga line is always the person who starts it.

It’s safer to be an airport Uber driver since your passengers went thru TSA before getting in