Member since June 21, 2018
showerthoughts published “Meme” 1 year, 1 month ago
The flavor of Dr. Pepper, animal crackers, and Swedish Fish are near impossible to describe, but they taste like the color they consist of.
In fairytales, stepsisters are bad. In porn, stepsisters are good.
The farther away you can wave hi to someone, the closer you are as friends.
As a loner, it’s not about not having friends. It’s a lack of quality people.
showerthoughts published “Meme” 1 year, 2 months ago
Being able to do well in high school without having to put in much effort is actually a big disadvantage later in life.
Girls don’t compliment guys because they’re likely to take it non-platonically, guys take it non-platonically because it happens so infrequently they don’t know how to handle it
Dads probably bond with dogs so much because, in our society, men don’t get shown a lot of affection but dogs give tons of affection regardless
Everyone hates being sung happy birthday, and everyone hates singing happy birthday, so what the fuck are we doing here.
Because telescopes work using mirrors, we won’t know if there are any space vampires until it is far too late.
When a woman is being a bitch, she’s usually being more aggressive than usual. When a man is being a bitch, he’s usually being cowardly.
Up until seventy years ago, no one in the history of humanity had ever sat up in the middle of the night and said, “What’s that beeping sound?”
Using a laptop makes it look like you’re doing work or something important while being on your phone looks the opposite
Whoever created the tradition of not seeing the bride in the wedding dress beforehand saved countless husbands everywhere from hours of dress shopping and will forever be a hero to all men.
showerthoughts published “Meme” 1 year, 7 months ago
The better a dating app is, the faster you’re supposed to delete it
showerthoughts published “Meme” 1 year, 8 months ago
A hamburger doesn’t have a front or back until you bite it
The higher you go in a building the cleaner the stairs get
We are covered in an organ that can detect small fluctuations of output from a fusion reactor 93 million miles away.
There’s like 7 billion boobs
Those “choose your own flavor” Coke machines are probably just there to gather marketing data; They see what the most popular flavors are so they can release bottled/canned versions.
Somewhere in the world there is one penguin who is the most gnarly, hardcore, badass penguin living by penguin standards and to us it just looks like another chubby little bird.